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Thursday, July 17, 2008

Sometimes, I just need a nap.

These are old pics. I so wanted to pull out the camera yesterday when my boy fell asleep. So small, cute and unbelievably quiet, it is hard for me to resist sleeping shots. But he is more sensitive to flashes now and the room was dark. So I did the next best thing. I laid down next to him and snoozed a bit myself.

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Yesterday, the boy and I were both having a 'hard' day. He was continually having tantrums and fits of anger, triggered by anything from his lunch choices to the color of his shirt. I was wondering why I even had kids, why it is illegal to sell them on ebay, and why they didn't sell antidepressants out of vending machines for those of us who don't want to commit to chemical stability, but might want to dabble on occasion.

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Then, a weird thing happened, meaning I had a moment of clarity even as I was spiraling out of control myself, and did my mental checklist of tantruming kids. Is he hungry? No. Cold? Nope. Sick? Don't think so. Tired. Oh, holy cow. Why yes, look at the kid. He is exhausted. So I grabbed the warm, angry ball of boy into my arms and we rocked in the big rocking chair just like old times. In five minutes he was asleep. Ten minutes later, so was I.

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We both woke up totally changed, like the world shifted into focus again. I am not always 'naturally' maternal when it comes to the kids but I have developed my own systems to figure out how to comfort and handle kids in various stages of disarray. Including the above mental checklist I go down when a kid is acting out unnaturally. It helps me recognize and effectively deal with the real issue causing my kid to act like hell spawn, and turn my frustration and anger into sympathy. Over the years, I have learned to recognize their needs relatively quickly and to even get them to start to recognize the signs in themselves.

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However, I am starting to realize that I am bad at recognizing that I often have tantrums based on my own needs not being met. Only I always assume I am 'unbalanced', have 'anger issues', or am unhappy in whatever current situation is underway. Using all the catch phrases of the day as an excuse for my behavior, when really I am not taking responsibility for myself. Sometimes I just need a nap.

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3 comments:

Katherine said...

They fell asleep with their arms entwined? Or did you pay them to do that? Or did you move them after they were asleep? Isn't it amazing, how cute they can be? Like they received special training before they were sent here. "If you really want to slay your Mama, find your little brother and twine arms with him and fall asleep. She will love you for-ever!"

LOVE the point - Am I finally psychotic? Oh, No, I just NEED A NAP! Thanks for that. : ) K

Mommylion said...

I have so many pictures of cute sleeping poses. A couple different ones of the arms intwined, since it is something they did a few times. Definitely slays me with cuteness every time.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful post, Candy. love, Val