Sunday, August 31, 2008

A little life, a little death

I was never a person that got overly into birthdays or holidays before I had kids. But the joy and excitement that my kids (and husband) radiate over these events has turned me into a believer in special days. We are not in the habit of creating the three ring circus type ordeals that involve crowds of younglings, hired entertainment and remodeling-type decorating. How do parents survive such a thing? But we do have the kids pick a theme and I try to decorate a cake based on it and make a few fun keepsakes their friends can take home.

Last year my daughter's birthday got overshadowed by my son's bumped noggin and stay in the hospital. She was fine with it and probably noticed the lack of decor and party favors less than her friends and I did. I am now sitting here wondering how exactly we are going to pull this year's thing off in the middle of our current mess. Logan's funeral is on Wednesday, my daughter's birthday. I am not a superstitious person, but I think that next year I'll get a little jumpy as September nears.

We are going to have the party tomorrow. The girl chose a garden theme, thank goodness. That will be rather easy to come by decor, much we can find around the house. I ordered a cake from a family friend who has an amazing bakery and we are all excited for that. (Usually I am a baking fool around party times, but the oven will be blissfully cool this time around.) My husband and I scored big at the store today on discounted springish type trinkets instead of trying to whip together handmade gifts. It has been a bright respite to our days.

I am grateful for all this young excited life around us, even as the little constant voices sometimes feel like a yammering threatening to explode our over-filled hearts. My girl is so excited about her birthday. I am so happy she was born. It all sort of feels like too much, all this celebration of life, the beginning and ending.

So anyway. I will soon have pictures once again. Happy birthday pictures. I do have one more post about all this sadness. One I have been writing to work through all of this. One more and then I am done with it here, in this space I created to capture the happiness in our days. We have a lot coming up in our lives that is good, happy and needs to be shared. Only one more sad post. I am promising myself this.

P.S. The bump on my boy's head is almost totally gone. Whew!

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