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Thursday, September 11, 2008

Scuttling sounds in the morning.

I've been working on a freelance project. Last one of the year, woohoo! This is the one with a deadline from the seventh level of hell. This time around it is 79 articles (advertorials, with copy, photos and formatting basically) in 8 business days. And I don't get all that time for writing, they need to be sent out for proofing. Then changes. Then me with coffee on her breath 24/7 and jumpy when the phone rings. There might be people out there that think that sounds like nothing. But comes close to killing me every time. But hey! The money. The rush of it. The money... But, I digress.

Kid free hours are my best hours to crank these things out and late nights have been totally unproductive for me. I am completely incapable of resisting the call of google in the evening. So I've been waking up around 4:30 or 5 to a silent house, iced coffee and getting a lot of work done. It has been nice. However, pre-dawn is a whole different world, isn't it? The noises, smells, sounds are all different and it tends to distract me from working, (it doesn't take much). Today, I kept hearing a scuttle, crackle, shuffle sound from over by my printer. So loud that I thought it had to be a mouse. I am such a BABY when it comes to mice. I have no idea why. They are so darn cute. But put an unexpected mouse in my home and I am a mess. It is embarrassing how silly I am with this.

Alone with the morning and the mouse noises, I didn't dare gather the papers that were starting to pile on my printer. I waited hours for my husband to wake up. Then we played the 'did you hear that' game. Do you play that too? The one where you call your husband into the room because you hear a noise, smell a smell, saw a bug, but they never seem to sense what you sense. And for whatever reason assume you are hallucinating. Why is that?

Finally after some serious relationship-doubting back and forth, he heard the noise. And we both got bold and started to shift stuff around, hoping to find nothing, but also knowing SOMETHING was making a scurrying mouse-like noise. Turning up nothing, over and over, the husband started to resort to the whole, 'it is nothing' mindset again, as if a group hallucination was a better explanation than an actual something making the noise. At that moment I grabbed the stack of about twenty sheets of paper from the printer. From the stack of paper in my hand came the sound! Imagine a mouse in a cardboard box or a hamster in a cage scratching at its nest, that was the noise coming from the papers in my hand. So I drop the possessed paper, of course, to which my husband responds. "Geesh, what is your problem? A mouse can't be in that stack of papers."

But seriously, people, like it is NORMAL for a stack of papers to crackle and scuttle... just because? Something was obviously causing the papers to make that noise, and we nervously watched as they continued to do so. One by one we lifted the papers until we discovered the biggest damn spider I have ever experienced in my life - and I used to live in Texas, so that is saying a lot. Big enough to sound like a mouse. Needless to say, both my husband and I screamed like horror movie victims and did that awful crawly spider dance thing. I made him get rid of it as penance. In the end I think we both would have been happier if it had been a mouse.

But wow, I am more awake right now than I have been in days, which is good. Though I am having anxiety about going near the printer, which is bad. Looming deadline thing and all. You know how they say for every mouse you see there are twenty more in your walls or something like that? What if it is the same for spiders?!!!

1 comment:

Mrs.Q said...

I SOOOO feel your pain!