Monday, February 14, 2011

My bloody valentine...

There are some crafts my daughter will have no part of. She was born with rules. Gingerbread houses have always been a no go. "Too cute," she'll sneer, nose in the air. WHAT? What is too cute to a kid who names her stuffed unicorns things like, 'fuzzy, fuzzy princess smooches' or something equally fluffy? I wasn't given her rule book upon her birth. I have to learn on the go. Sometimes I get confused.

So anyway, no gingerbread houses. Actually, no crafts made with food. Too wasteful. No food shaped in animal shapes. It is inedible. She can eat actual animals as we have 'omnivore teeth' therefore of course we are supposed to eat animals. She says this in a very 'everyone knows this mom' sort of voice, btw. As a short, brown-haired, cutesy-craft-inclined, vegetarian-leaning person, sometimes I wonder about my tall, blond omnivore and that old switched-at-birth thing. So okaaay. Pass the cow but animal crackers are a no. Chicken? Heck yeah. Gummy bears? No. No. And No. Maybe with a tear or two. Poor anthropomorphic sugar! Oh, the inhumanity!

Okay, on her new list of what is not an acceptable craft. Ice valentine hearts to hang outside. "Ughhh...." (She actually said ugh!) "Mom. No. Just no." Sigh... It isn't like she's a tomboy as I was at her age, so I don't really get it. Her rule book is complex. So I had to do it myself. So like the little red hen. I did.

Yes. More colored ice. It might be my theme for 2011.

Pretty? Right? At this point I thought my daughter would come around like the animals who wanted to help the little red hen eat the bread. But nope. She was, "You actually did it." All deadpan like the future goth queen she threatens to be underneath all the pink and gems. Well, I'm not worried. Back in the eighties I was all about the Cure, and black lipstick, now I'm all, "Oh, look at the cute ice cube hearts!!!" She'll come around.

So this was my goal. See my kids ignoring me? Yeah. Mom's got her craft on again. We'll be over here planning a major snow battle. Can't blame them really, the snow is finally packing! I did get in my share of snowballs after I decked my favorite tree in some love.

 This tree deserves much love. A big camperdown elm.

Well, it turns out my little realist was right. The sun came out and melted my valentine hearts to freaky bloody looking organs within an hour. A visitor to the house actually asked, "WHAT is hanging from your tree?!" All in horror. The hearts got darker as they started to melt, looking much like red, red meat. The dye looked like blood in the snow. Yeah. When crafting goes wrong. I didn't take pictures of that, because to quote my daughter. "Ughhh..."

What was my daughter doing while I was making the million heart ice cubes last night? She was capturing an amazing sunset. Ooohhhh.... Ahhhhh.... 

 I love the texture on this one.

Nature's Valentine.

So Happy Valentine's Day to everyone who tolerates such shenanagins and even to all that don't. We don't all play by the same rule book, but we all desire to love and be loved. And I love my silly little realist daughter with her very serious rules, and she loves that I try to tease her out of them sometimes.

Btw, my daughter had no problem at all with the little bag of chocolate and gum her father and I gave her this morning. To her that seemed like perfectly acceptable valentine behavior.  Frozen valentines, no. Non-animal-shaped chocolates, yes. Noted for next year.


the happy honeybee said...

Oh, Candy! I love your photos of the frozen hearts swinging beneath the tree! Hah, it's so sad and hilarious that they melted into a violent mess, though. But I confess I would like to have seen photos of it.

Deb said...

I love your hearts swinging from the tree. Then I continued on and didn't feel so great when they melted. Your daughter sounds like she's going to be a leader, not a follower, a very good thing to be.

Jen said...

LOVE this! I am laughing hysterically ... :D

Sparklee said...

Wow--she really took some gorgeous photos!

I LOVE the ice heart idea, even if they did melt into weird shapes! Our actual hearts are a weird shape anyway!

If it makes you feel any better, my daughter didn't come with a rule book either. Maybe we should get them to write the rules down so we won't feel so lost! :)

Cintia said...

Dear just loved your idea, beautiful love work.

Thanks for sharing.

Karen said...

Doesn't it just get your goat when they are right?
Your ice hearts make lovely pictures, and your daughter's sunset pics are lovely too.
Happy Valentine's Day!

Katherine said...

Freaking Brilliant, the both of you! And now you know what to do for Halloween. :o)

panamamama said...

Too cool! My boys would love that one. My oldest son painted a skull and crossbones on his Valentine's box. Beautiful pics!

Sara said...

Oh goodness! Too funny - the poor bleeding hearts. :)

val said...

Oh, aren't February sunsets gorgeous?

And the bleeding hearts, so cute, and then so disturbing later, lol.

This is pretty darn funny,Candy. love, Val

Lathavijayakumar said...